Valentine's Day Jokes

Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day? A: I Love Ewe!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? A: I'm stuck on you!

Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? A: Owl be yours!

Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? A: Cauliflowers!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card? A: A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"

Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend? A: "I love you with all my art!"

Q: What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse? A: "I've got a crutch on you!"

Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweethearts!

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? A: Hogs and kisses!

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine's Day? A: " I find you very attractive."

Q: What did one pickle say to the other? A: "You mean a great dill to me."

Q: What did one light bulb say to the other? A: "I love you a whole watt!"

Q: What would you get it you crossed a blonde with the God of love? A: A stupid cupid!

Q: Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?A: She didn't suit his taste!

Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A. "You're fun to hang around with."

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? A. He fell in love with a pin cushion!

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune? A: Because it couldn't get a date

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner? A: A stamp

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed "guess who"? A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: What did one snake say to the other snake? A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey

Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? A: Antelope

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? A: You get buttered up.

Q: What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? A: One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard

Knock knock! Who's there? Sherwood Sherwood who? Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock Who's there? Pooch Pooch who? Pooch your arms around me, baby!

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a great big kiss?