Halloween Jokes

Q: How can you tell that Doctor Victor Frankenstein had a good sense of humor? A: Because he kept his monster in stitches.

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A: Anywhere where he can boo-gie

Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A: You suck

Q:Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A: He didn't have a haunting license.

Q: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A: A toasty ghosty

Q: Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A: He was all bite and no bark.

Q: What do you call a monster with no neck? A: The Lost Neck Monster

Q: What's a monster's favorite bean? A: A human bean

Q: What's a Mummy's favorite music? A: wrap Music!

Q: What type of art do skeletons like? A: Skull tures

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite

Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies? A: They're good at keeping things under wraps

Q: What do you call dead cows that come back to life? A: Zombeef

Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm ? A: Nothing gets under their skin

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter? A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them

Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie? A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart

Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A: Mas-scare-a

Q: Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A: It's drafty under that sheet.

Q: Why are vampires like false teeth? A: They all come out at night.

Q: What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? A: OK, that's a wrap.

Q: How does a girl vampire flirt? A: She bats her eyes.

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo

Q: What instrument do skeleton play? A: Trom-BONE

Q: How do skeletons call their friends ? A: On the telebone

Q: What do you call a little monsters parents A: mummy and deady

Q: Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A: to see the boogy man.

Q: What happens when two vampires meet? A: It was love at first bite!

Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans.

Q: Where do mummies go for a swim? A: To the dead sea

Q: What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets? A: Dead ends

Q: What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ? A: It came back with a skeleton crew

Q: Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A:. He heard it had great circulation

Q: When does a skeleton laugh? A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: Why don't skeletons like parties? A: They have no body to dance with.

Q: What can't you give the headless horseman? A: A headache.

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business? A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts.

Q: Why do witches wear name tags? A: So, they would know which witch is which!

Q: What do you call a stupid skeleton? A: A numbskull

Q: How does a skeleton get into his house? A: With a skeleton key

Q: What do skeletons have nightmares of? A: Dogs

Q: When do witches cook their victims? A: On Fry Day

Q: What forms of major education do skeletons attend? A: High Skull

Q What do you get if you cross a vampire bat and a mummy? A: A flying band-aid, or a gift-wrapped bat.

Q: What is Dracula's favorite holiday? A: Fangsgiving!

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have? A: A Bloodhound!

Q: Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested? A: In a red bloodcell!

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast? A: In the moaning.

Q: What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make ? A:Snap, cackle and pop

Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables? A: In a blood bank.

Q:What do you get if you cross Jesse James and Dracula? A: A robbery at the blood bank.

Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Q: What would you find on a haunted beach? A: A sand witch.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A: Spelling!

Q: What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A: Coffee with scream and sugar.

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation? A: Mali-boo.

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert? A: Ice Scream

Q: What's a haunted chicken? A: A poultry-geist

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A: Dayscare centers

Q: What kind of mistakes do spooks make? A: Boo boos

Q: Where do ghosts mail their letters? A: At the ghost office

Q: Why did the ghost cross the road? A: To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin' Goblin.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog? A: He's mist

Q: Why was the mummy so tense? A: Because he was all wound up.

Q: Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A: it raises their spirits.

Q: What is a vampire's favourite fruit? A: A necktarine

Q: How did the ghost say good-bye to the vampire? A: So long sucker!

Q: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A: Because people are dying to get in.

Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it? A. a coffin