Christmas Jokes

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? A: So he can Ho-Ho-Ho!

Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas? A: “Its Christmas”, Eve

Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck? A: A Christmas Quacker

Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on holiday? A: In a HO HO Hotel

Q: What did the Christmas bell say to the other Christmas bell? A: Give me a ring sometime

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? A: Santa Paws

Q: What fall's but never gets hurt? A: Snow

Q: What king do you see every Christmas? A: A stock-king

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus? A: North Polish

Q: What kind of people are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claus-trophobics

Q: Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? A: Rude-olph

Q: What do you call Santa when he has no money? A: Saint Nickel-less

Q: Why is turkey popular at Christmas? A: Because the weather is warmer over there

Q: What bites and nips but has no teeth? A: Frost

Q: What do Santa's reindeer put on a Christmas tree? A: Horn-aments

Q: What kind of bird can write? A: A Pen-guin

Q: Why did the elf take his computer to the hospital? A: Because Santa said it had a virus

Q: How many elves does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Fifty... one to screw in the light bulb and forty-nine to stand on each other shoulders

Q: What do Elves make sandwiches from? A: Shortbread

Q: How many Santa's does it take to change a light bulb? A: One... because he's smart, good-looking and I'm hoping for decent presents this year

Q: How would you fire Santa? A: Give him the sack!

Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? A: No Eye Deer

Q: What do you call a smelly Santa Claus? A: Farter Christmas

Q: What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month? A: The letter "D"

Q: Who was Frosty the Snowman's favourite aunt? A: Aunt Artica

Q: What did the Policeman say when he caught Frosty the Snowman stealing? A: Freeze!

A little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked "And what would you like for Christmas little girl?" The girl stared at him in horror and then said: "Didn't you get my letter?"